It is an instinct of the body to heal,
even if it feels like a betrayal of the one you have lost. To contrast what I feel now to the visceral
pain of last year at this time is impossible, but losing the immediacy of that pain came with a relief that allowed me to remember Lula with more than just sadness. I can think of her now, I can talk of her now, sometimes, with humor and joy, of little moments we got to have with her, and the remarkable time we got to experience as a complete family.
Lula has now been dead longer than she was alive. This is a strange reality, because she continues to be such a central part of our lives; she directs our thoughts, our philosophies, our feelings continually. Sometimes I start to feel as though she has become more of an idea, an icon, a muse to me, like Artemis. Her body was so cruel to her in all of its suffering that it is hard to miss her physical presence except for her utter beauty and softness. But I want to remember that she was here, that she was real and a person, however flawed and however brief, she lived on this same earth as the rest of us.
In honor of this very real little girl I am now a board member of Extreme Kids and Crew, an amazing organization that aims to help kids with disabilities have a place to just be themselves and express themselves creatively. If you would like to make a donation in Lula's honor, please do so here:
Weather permitting, we are are headed to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving in a couple of days to visit the cousins. I took these photos of "the cousins" and some of their friends this summer. Since I am, above all, most thankful for my remarkable, loyal, and highly entertaining family I thought this would be a good time to share. Happy Thanksgiving!
This summer we went back to Bella's, the matriarch of the Mackays, the nearest neighbors to the croft. It is, every year, one of the very best things about being there, to be welcomed by Bella and her endlessly revolving queue of visitors and family who usher us in to have cups of tea and whiskey any time of the day. This year, unfortunately, we wound up all too often visiting to use their phone (long story short: if you rent a car in Europe it might be a good idea to just buy yourself a puncture repair kit as they are no longer allowed to leave spare tires in the trunk (or rather, tyres in the boot).
The dogs were especially feisty this year. They have two herding dogs who are almost disturbingly intense. The younger one, Tide, literally herds anything and anyone that moves ALL the time. I really started to feel sorry for the chickens. The elder statesman, Boss, mostly lies at Bella's feet in the kitchen and guards her. This summer in an attempt to wind up Boss, Tide would herd Princess Neptune, the pet sheep, into the kitchen. Boss was not amused about having a full grown sheep in the house and would freak out and the sheep would run upstairs, causing total mayhem. Tide has quite the sense of humor, doesn't he?
Boss followed me around when I went out by myself with Roan, shuffling from one side of me to the other, actually physically herding me. I am sure he was thinking, "This one's from the city, I can smell it. She's going to fall in a hole!" so he kept an eye on me.
Roan had an absolute blast running around with Uisdean, who let him play on the giant dump truck that was parked at the top of their hill, and let him chase the chickens and feed the lambs. Sam raced him around in a wheelbarrow full of straw.
Bella, ever tinier and deafer and older, still has an immeasurable fierceness and biting sense of humor. It is a testament to the life up there, in one of the most remote, desolate places possible, so desolate that you have to drive 3 hours to get a flat tire replaced, that she is always surrounded by her family and friends. And no one makes a big deal of it, either. Everyone just takes the time to pop in with a tin of cookies and maybe a bit of news or gossip. There was one house nearby that a family had lived in for over a decade but no one like them because they never visited with anyone. Why would you live up there if you don't want to visit?
The last thing we do when we leave the croft on the way back to civilization is pop in to Bella's. We always say we are just going to quickly say our goodbyes and then hit the road, but we always wind up staying for tea and biscuits way longer than we should, magnetized, not wanting to draw ourselves away from these people or this way of life.
I find it amazing that a boy who cannot sit through a single page of a book without moving and/or asking a question can spend hour upon uninterrupted hour repeating a chosen task with utter focus until he perfects it. If only "Skipping Stones" counted as a physics credit in school this kid would be set.
