29 June 2012


Circa summer 2011


Roan had a fever last night that shot all the way up to 104.6ยบ.  It brought odd flashbacks to Lula's nighttime sudden temp spikes, the rounds of cold washcloths and ibuprofen and rectal thermometers.  It made me miss her more than usual even though I was always scared and miserable when it happened and knew she was too.  But it was something we could do something about and they always went away when all the other problems didn't.  It was fixable even if only until the next fever.

Roan was weepy and wanted to sleep with us which never works because he usually wiggles around like an earthworm in the sun until one of us gets fed up and sticks him back in his bed. This time he stayed and slept for a while. He was roasting hot but no other symptoms.  It's so unlike him.  He almost never gets sick, it's like Lula did all the getting sick for the both of them.  It's absurd to be so surprised, of course he's going to get sick he's a kid.  And he's going to preschool in the fall, a cesspool of germs from what I've heard.

I cancelled all of our plans and we hung out in the back yard watering the herbs and sweeping the underside of the deck. We planted cornflowers.  I let him watch Elmo and he ate nothing but cantaloupe for lunch.  He's been on a steady regimen of ibuprofen and Tylenol since yesterday and his fever hasn't dipped below 102.  I called the doctors office and the nurse said not to worry unless it lasts 7 days or goes over 105.  She made no effort to reassure me that I was justified in calling with any worry, but said this fever was rampant right now.  How is she to know that a fever is such a close memory of a lost baby?

Tomorrow I'm planning more of the same nothing in hopes that the fever will break before it ruins our weekend plans.  He's whinier than usual but otherwise he doesn't seem all that sick or even uncomfortable.  I have to remind myself that you are supposed to stop and take it easy when a baby is sick since I've literally never done that before.  I hope he gets better soon. I want my little boy back to himself.

Bedtime snuggle

23 June 2012


As you can see, naptime was a huge success today...


Roan is really into Richard Scarry's books right now, which involve no stories and lot's of vehicles

21 June 2012


My cousin Lori, her husband Peter and their two kids Luca and Dylan came to visit from Philly.  They don't get to come up all that often so I thought a good day trip would be for us to go to Coney Island.  For those of you unfamiliar with Coney Island (is that possible?) it's a low-grade amusement park meets a circus sideshow meets a caramel apple meets the Jersey Shore.  Somehow it works perfectly.

Roan discovered rides and, unlike the merry-go-round debacle of earlier this year, had a blast.  

Luca, all of seven years old but as tall as a ten year old, went on rides that made me queasy just to look at.  He went in that crazy orb that's shot in the air like a cannon attached to cables.  Um, no thanks.

At the end of the day I bought Roan a go at one of those game booths.  It was an Angry Birds booth and you were given 3 baseballs and had to try to smash 3 plates.  The first two throws he didn't come remotely close but, unbelievably, he smashed a plate on the last round and won an Angry Bird!!

We started with a nutritious lunch at Nathan's


Little man, big ferris wheel

Me, Lori, and the best photobomb ever

Throwing sand, annoyingly

Very seal-like

Dylan and Roan digging

Notice the gun on the front of the jet.  Nice.

Pizza hat

Tom and Jerry and Roan. Didn't even have to put money in it.

Dylan and Roan in the whale
A day at the races

Luca and Peter defying gravity

16 June 2012


I realized in about April that I couldn't be in New York for the babies' birthdays.  We all needed to get away and away we went. I am not even going to bother telling you about it I'm just gonna show you pictures. 

Happy Birthday Roan and Lula

This is Vermont.  So Vermonty isn't it?

The house we stayed at.  On a private island on a lake. Not tellin where.
The bridge to get to the house

Shit eating grin


Honestly Gracie was probably the happiest of all

The water was a bit chilly but beautiful

Me in bliss. Photo courtesy of Sam

Brooklyn boys in the fresh air


Still waiting

One of several perfect views


Rowing around the lake

Lily pads

View of the house from the lake

Bedtime story with Cecelia



Evening fire


Cecelia's getup

Gracie and Wally with Susan

My mother did this to him.  I had total flashbacks of sunblock assaults from my childhood.

Just down the road

She's always with us

Aggie and Sharda pick up dudes at the Big Moose Deli

Aggie and I ham it up

This place is insane

Jason and Wally

Afternoon gathering at the dock

Sharda chillin


Home brew.  Photo Courtesy of Sam

Birthday pancakes


Day 1: Wally won't even dip a paw in the water.  Day 2: Smooth sailing

That's Aggie way in the distance. She swam circles around the rest of us.


Dock time


Sharda sunning herself

Ice Cream dinner at Wahoo's Eatery

Survivor of Hurricane Irene

Birthday Ice Cream

It was a bit messy

Pretty much sums it up